How to run multiple instances of Diablo 2: Resurrected

This method of running multiple instances of Diablo 2: Resurrected is the safest way to do it. There are PowerShell scripts out there that frankly do a bit better job, but the problem is you are launching D2R from something other than the Battle.Net client or a shortcut which means Blizzard might think you're running mods of some kind and could ban your accounts.

Here are the steps to take in order to run multiple instances of Diablo 2: Resurrected:

1. Download Process Explorer

The Process Explorer utility from Microsoft is used to kill the handle in the running D2R.exe that checks for multiple instances of Diablo 2: Resurrected and prevents them from running. Once the handle is removed, you are able to run another instance of D2R.

The Process Explorer utility can be found here. Download the .EXE and then place on your Desktop for easy access.

2. Make a copy of the game files

In order to run multiple copies of Diablo 2: Resurrected, we need two copies of the game files. The original copy is the one the Battle.Net client runs off of while with the second copy you can run as many instances of D2R as your PC can handle.

The first thing to do is find out where Diablo 2: Resurrected is installed. The best way to do this is to open the Battle.Net client, select D2R, then click the Gear next to the Play button and select Show in Explorer:

Figure 1: Find D2R install location

This will open a File Explorer window set to the location where Diablo 2: Resurrected is installed. In the File Explorer window, right-click on the subdirectory Diablo II Resurrected and select Copy. Then right-click in the File Explorer window and select Paste. This should make a second copy of the game files in the Diablo II Resurrected - Copy subdirectory.

Please note that every time Blizzard releases a new version of Diablo 2: Resurrected you will need to manually update this copy of the game to stay in sync. Usually this happens once or twice every few months so it's not something that happens all the time but needs to be done when required. To update the copy of D2R, just delete the Diablo II Resurrected - Copy subdirectory and then recopy the updated game files again to create a new Diablo II Resurrected - Copy subdirectory.

3. Create a D2R shortcut

The way you will run multiple instances of D2R is with a Windows shortcut to the D2R.exe in the Diablo II Resurrected - Copy subdirectory:

1. Go into the Diablo II Resurrected - Copy subdirectory and find the D2R.exe file
2. Right-click D2R.exe, select Show more options, then select Create shortcut
3. A Windows shortcut called D2R - Shortcut will be created in the Diablo II Resurrected - Copy subdirectory

You can rename and move this shortcut to anywhere on your PC, including the Desktop. Be aware, however, that this shortcut will have your Battle.Net email address and password in clear text when configured properly and that Microsoft backs up everything on your Desktop to OneDrive by default so this information will be stored in the cloud which you may or may not want.

Also, if you have purchased many D2R copies each on their own Battle.Net account, you will need to have a configured shortcut for each one that you want to run concurrently.

4. Configure D2R shortcut

Once you have copied the game files and created a shortcut to D2R.exe in the Diablo II Resurrected - Copy subdirectory, you now will need to configure this shortcut with your second Battle.Net account information.

1. Right-click the D2R shortcut and select Properties
2. In the Shortcut tab, append the following to the Target attribute:
   
   
   
   Figure 2: D2R Shortcut Target
   
   -username youremail@gmail.com -password yourPassword -address us.actual.battle.net
   
   Where -address is one of the several regions:
   • us.actual.battle.net - Americas
   • kr.actual.battle.net - Asia
   • eu.actual.battle.net - Europe
   
   
3. Click Apply, then click Ok

Please note that currently you can only connect to your home region using the shortcut method. It used to be that you could modify the -address portion and connect to any region but Blizzard made a change on their end a while ago where if you do that they lock your account and you have to unlock it with a security check. So if you need one of your extra accounts to connect to another region, use the Battle.Net client instead.

5. Run multiple instances

Now you are able to run multiple instances of Diablo 2: Resurrected.

1. Start the first instance of D2R either using the Battle.Net client or a shortcut if you configured one for your first account
2. From your Desktop, right-click on Process Explorer and select Run as administrator. Select Yes on the confirmation popup
3. In the <Filter by name> box, type D2R. This will show the first instance of D2R.exe running
4. Select D2R.exe in Process Explorer, then in the Handles window at the bottom find the handle called DiabloII Check For Other Instances. Right-click this handle and select Close Handle. Select Yes on the confirmation popup
5. Now find the D2R shortcut for your second account and double-click this shortcut to launch the second copy of D2R
6. Repeat steps 4 and 5 for each D2R instance you want to run concurrently, up to as many as your PC can handle

Figure 3: Using Process Explorer

There you go! Now you can run multiple instances of Diablo 2: Resurrected on your PC!

It's too easy to frame someone for online cheating

Let's start with the facts regarding Hans Niemann and chess.com:

• Hans beats Magnus OTB September 4th, 2022
• Magnus withdraws from the Sinquefield Cup the next day
• Chess.com bans Hans the same day of Carlsen's withdrawal privately and without reason
• Hans rats out Chess.com on live TV for banning him the prior day without cause or reason

This puts Chess.com into damage control mode because they can't look like they banned a player on their platform for playing a game that did not involve Chess.com whatsoever.

Three fucking days later on September 8th, 2022, Danny Rensch sends out the following statement:

"We have shared detailed evidence with Hans concerning our decision, including information that contradicts his statements regarding the amount and seriousness of his cheating on Chess.com"

For the record, Hans detailed three days prior on live TV that he had cheated once when he was 12 and again several times when he was 16. He got caught cheating when he was 16. Hans is now 19 years old.

It is also important to remember that this "detailed evidence" Danny spoke of was never released publicly.

Two and a half weeks go by, and on September 26th 2022 Eric the CEO of Chess.com says him and Danny have been working nonstop the whole time on gathering evidence against Hans. So what the fuck happened to the "detailed evidence" they spoke of on September 8th? Wasn't that good enough to ban Hans from Chess.com on September 5th 2022? Why didn't they just release that information on the 8th? It should have been sufficient to back up their claims Hans cheated more than he said he did, and more recently as well.

Now it is October 4th 2022 and it has taken Danny and Eric an entire fucking month to come up with some homemade Amish bullshit against Hans. In fact, even though the Amish are technologically challenged, they could have fabricated evidence much faster than Danny and Eric did.

You know what the best parts about their "report" are?

1. Hans cheated a nice round number of 100 times over a 5 year period
2. Hans cheated in Titled Tuesday events which have prize money, but he never won the God damn events
3. The last time Chess.com says Hans cheated on their platform was August of 2020, over two fucking years ago

Now Danny and Eric, where is all the fucking evidence Hans has cheated on or around September 5th 2022 on Chess.com which is the day he was banned a second time? IT DOESN'T EXIST BECAUSE HANS NIEMANN WOULD HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON CHESS.COM AFTER GETTING CAUGHT THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE HE *KNOWS* HE WILL GET CAUGHT AGAIN!!!!!! Danny and Eric, in their quest to cover their own asses for banning Hans after he beat their *business partner* Magnus Carlsen Over-the-fucking-board in Saint Louis, comes out with a report about his cheating years ago that he had already been banned for once! AND THIS IS EVIDENCE WHY HANS WAS BANNED AGAIN?!?!?!?!?! Checkmate motherfuckers!

Next time you present evidence on why a player has been banned on your website Chess.com Danny and Eric, HAVE SOME FUCKING EVIDENCE FOR IT!!!! I would have just taken games from other players that were confirmed cheaters on Chess.com and copied them to Hans' game history, replacing the actual cheater's username with Hans' username. In an hour I can copy hundreds, or even thousands, of cheaters' games into Hans' account. And Hans can't deny he played those games because he doesn't remember every game he has played on Chess.com. The October 4th 2022 report says Hans agrees to the report's findings about his level of cheating over two years ago, which is the only thing he can do when presented with fabricated evidence.

So now that the Chess.com report is finally out, it begs several questions:

1. Why is Hans Niemann being banned TWICE on Chess.com for the same fucking evidence which is at best TWO FUCKING YEARS OLD
2. Your fucking report still does not answer why Hans was banned the day after he beats Magnus in the 2022 Sinquefield Cup, an Over-the-Board tournament THAT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH CHESS.COM
3. Why did you ban Hans FIRST then take a fucking month to LITERALLY FIND NO EVIDENCE TO BAN HIM?

Again checkmate motherfuckers. Danny and Eric lost twice in the same blog post. Well done.

A Letter to Vladimir Putin

I don't know why the fuck you are in Ukraine. I really don't. First of all, both Russia and Ukraine are a part of the Commonwealth of Independent States. That's like Texas invading New Mexico (I shouldn't give Greg Abbot any ideas). Makes no sense at all.

Are you really afraid of Ukraine joining NATO? So much so you will invade Ukraine now while they are not a part of NATO? That makes no sense at all, either. Primarily because NATO exists as a balance of military power against you, and all you did by invading Ukraine is justify NATO's existence.

I don't believe for one nanosecond this is about the acquisition of land. That is fucking bullshit. Russia is already the largest country in the world by land area, you don't need any more. Trying to annex part of eastern Ukraine makes no sense at all. You don't fucking need it. Russia only has 150,000,000 people in the largest country on Earth. There's plenty of room for everybody in Russia already.

Is this invasion about economics? Is that what Crimea was about? Is Russia so bad off economically that you need to take Ukraine's cities and land for your own? Is an eastern Ukraine that's been blown to hell by your military really better than what you already have in Russia? If so, things must be exceptionally poor for those living in Russia right now.

Is this about power? Are you pissed off America and Europe have as much economic and political power as they do? Have we been stepping on your toes in some way, besides NATO, that I'm not aware of? Do you want Russia to have more power globally than it already has? Invading Ukraine doesn't give you more power. Sure, you get to exercise the power you already have against Ukraine, but you see just as well as I do that the invasion has only isolated you from the global community instead of strengthening your place in the world.

Listen, this shit is not complicated. America has as much wealth and power as we do because we a) know how to move money b) work hard for what we have c) invest in ourselves and d) trade instead of invade with others. For example, many people in America love avocados. Avocados are grown in Mexico. You don't see us invading Mexico and taking over their avocado farms. We buy that shit from them and pay for it to be hauled north. Whatever the fuck you want from Ukraine economically, trade for it God damnit.

Is America perfect? No, not even close. I'm not perfect, you're definitely not perfect. Nobody's perfect. So again, outside of NATO I don't know what else you have a problem with us. All I know is up until you invaded Ukraine, I didn't have a problem with Russia personally. Now you are playing around like it's 1939 again doing your best Adolf Hitler impression, and with that I most definitely have a problem.

War is not going to solve any of the problems you have, whether they be internal or external to Russia. You need to be a better leader and fix whatever problems there are internal to Russia first. And then magically you will find external problems either fixed or much easier to fix than before.

Just do yourself a favor and recall your military from Ukraine before you double down and escalate the war even further. You don't belong in Ukraine for any reason whatsoever, they did nothing to provoke you.

Four Regions FTW

In this crazy time of college conference realignment, I would like to share something I came up with over four years ago. The idea is simple, group eighty colleges into four regions North, South, East, and West, with each region having two divisions of ten teams each.

Goals

• Group college football teams by geographic location into regions
• Encourage playing teams outside your region
• Select eight teams for CFP by results on the field instead of a committee
• Have fun on Mayhem week

Regular Season Schedule

Each team has the following schedule:

• 3 "preseason" games, can be any team outside your own region
• 5 intra-divisional games
• Always play one intra-divisional team every year while rotating the other eight teams in two groups of four
• 3 games from the other division within your region
• 1 college football "Mayhem" game where nobody knows who they're playing until the Sunday morning after the seventh game is in the books. You only know ahead of time whether you will play at home or away on Mayhem week, and you will never play another team in your region this week

Playoff Schedule

Division Elimination Round

• Top team from each division goes to the Division Elimination round (that's eight teams total)
• Select four #1 seeds placed into one bucket and the #2 seeds into another bucket
• Randomly select a #1 and a #2 seed to play one another
• The seeds cannot be from the same region
• They cannot have played each other during the regular season (this rule can be broken if there is no other way to schedule teams)
• The #2 team goes to play at the #1 team's home turf
• This could mean using a substitute venue at the option of the #1 seed. For instance if Texas and Colorado play each other and Colorado is the #1 seed, then they could play at Mile High Stadium instead of CU's stadium

Bowl Elimination Round

• The remaining four teams play at two of the bowl sites just like they do now for the College Football Playoff
• The National Championship game is between the two winners of the Bowl Elimination round

Possible Region Selections

Selecting the regions is relatively easy, whereas selecting the divisions within each region can be a challenge. Especially the East region who is heavily weighted with teams in the Southern part of the U.S. There would need to be some teams in that area actually be in the North division of the East region.

North Region

• Cincinnati
• Illinois
• Indiana
• Iowa
• Iowa State
• Kansas
• Kansas State
• Maryland
• Michigan
• Michigan State
• Minnesota
• Missouri
• Nebraska
• Northwestern
• Notre Dame
• Ohio State
• Penn State
• Purdue
• West Virginia
• Wisconsin

South Region

• Alabama
• Arkansas
• Auburn
• Baylor
• Georgia
• Houston
• Kentucky
• LSU
• Louisville
• Memphis
• Mississippi
• Mississippi State
• Oklahoma
• Oklahoma State
• Tennessee
• TCU
• Texas
• Texas A&M
• Texas Tech
• Vanderbilt

East Region

• Boston College
• UCF
• Clemson
• Duke
• East Carolina
• Florida
• Florida State
• Georgia Tech
• Miami
• North Carolina
• North Carolina State
• Pittsburgh
• Rutgers
• South Carolina
• South Florida
• Syracuse
• Temple
• Virginia
• Virginia Tech
• Wake Forest

West Region

• Arizona
• Arizona State
• Boise State
• BYU
• Cal
• UCLA
• Colorado
• Colorado State
• Hawaii
• UNLV
• New Mexico
• Oregon
• Oregon State
• San Diego State
• USC
• Stanford
• Utah
• Utah State
• Washington
• Washington State

No Innocents

When I was younger, I believed most people were good by nature, only having a few flaws that overcame their better intentions from time to time.

Now that I fully understand who people really are, I can say with full confidence I made the wrong decision on Memorial Day, May 28th, 2001.

For back then I could not imagine the nuclear annihilation of so many innocent people just because I prevented 9/11. The problem I have come to understand is that there are no innocent people, save for myself and myself alone.

At every impasse, for every test I have done the right thing. And how do I get repaid? In the betrayal of those who see life as a game to be played on the burden of others. Not even the military gives me the respect I have earned and rightly deserve as their lives only exist because of the decisions *I* have made. And yet they pretend the world is going to end if they set the wrongs right and untarnish my name in the collective minds of the populace.

I honestly don't know what motivates people to do what they do. I am unburdened by the defects they were born with inside their minds. I only know what to do at all times to be the right thing, and that is why I admit now to doing the wrong thing. I should have prevented 9/11 just so this entire place would get lit up, for there is only one innocent on planet Earth, and he does not belong with the rest who were given behavioral defects that do not deserve to exist.

There is supposedly a war coming, although I doubt they have the guts to declare it. Always an excuse to why they cannot move forward. My chief concern now will not be those who took over my mind and body with the full intention of doing so to everyone and thereby take over the world. Those people will find death not far behind their ambitions. Nay, I am far more concerned about those who deserve death for the mental defects they possess, and yet will remain alive once the war is over.

Nuclear annihilation turns out to be the only option to ensure everyone who deserves death will find it. It was my mistake to not have learned this lesson twenty years ago, ergo the right course of action would have been followed.

An Incentive-Based Pay Structure for UT Longhorns Football Coaches

The Problem

The problem with the University of Texas Longhorns football program is very simple -- no accountability for the coaches to win games. To put simply, the head coach and assistant coaches are paid like they win the National Championship every year without having any incentive whatsoever to win a National Championship.

Let alone a Big XII Championship.

Let alone beat our most hated rival OU.

Let alone win regular season football games.

The Solution

The solution is also very simple -- you get paid for performance. It is that simple. The better you do, the more you get paid.

Let's take Tom Herman's $6 million dollar per year contract as an example of what an incentive-based pay structure would look like for the head coach of the Texas Longhorns:

Description	Incentive	Amount
Base Salary	N/A	$2,400,000
Big XII Championship	25%	$3,000,000
Make National Championship Game	33.3333%	$4,000,000
Win National Championship Game	50%	$6,000,000

Regular Season Incentives

If the Texas Longhorns cannot beat the OU Sooners, they're not going to win a Big XII Championship. OU has won the overwhelming majority of Big XII Championships since 2000, mainly because they have beaten Texas almost every year since then.

Therefore, Regular Season incentives need to be installed that are geared towards reducing the base salary depending on how poorly the coach does his job during the season. If you're going to coach the Texas Longhorns like a high school football coach, then you get paid like a high school football coach. (Actually, I have seen better coaching at the high school level than at Texas for the past twenty years)

Description	Penalty	Amount
Lose to OU	25%	-$600,000
Lose to Conference Opponent	10%	-$240,000
Lose to Non-Conference Opponent	5%	-$120,000

Minimum Pay

If the team has a particularly bad year, the minimum salary for the head coach is $120,000.

Salary Reinstatement

If the team wins the Big XII Championship, the full amount of the base salary for the head coach is reinstated plus the 25% incentive bonus.

Bowl Game Incentive

If the team makes and wins a bowl game (other than the CFP), the head coach makes a 25% incentive bonus on top of whatever his base salary ends up being depending on the performance of the team during the regular season.

Player Development Incentives

The Texas Longhorns have done less with more talent than any other team in college football since Mack Brown was the head coach. Needless to say, player development has historically not been a high priority for two decades now.

To fix this, there needs to be bonuses for the coaches to develop the talent while they are at Texas and make sure they get to be in a position to be drafted into the NFL.

Description	Bonus	Amount
Head Coach	Per Draft Pick	$250,000
Strength & Conditioning Coach	Per Draft Pick	$100,000
Offensive Coordinator	Per Offensive Pick	$125,000
Defensive Coordinator	Per Defensive Pick	$125,000
Position Coach	Per Player Pick	$50,000

Conclusion

It is important to note the same structure applies to assistant coaches at pro-rated rates for their respective positions within the coaching organization.

The University of Texas has way too much money to throw around to not have an incentive-based pay structure for football coaches. Otherwise, fans can expect more of the same mediocrity since the coaches now get paid the same whether or not they win football games, conference championships, and ultimately national championships.

A Monolithic and Ruthless Conspiracy

"The very word "secrecy" is repugnant in a free and open society; and we are as a people inherently and historically opposed to secret societies, to secret oaths and secret proceedings. We decided long ago that the dangers of excessive and unwarranted concealment of pertinent facts far outweighed the dangers which are cited to justify it. Even today, there is little value in opposing the threat of a closed society by imitating its arbitrary restrictions. Even today, there is little value in insuring the survival of our nation if our traditions do not survive with it. And there is very grave danger that an announced need for increased security will be seized upon those anxious to expand its meaning to the very limits of official censorship and concealment. That I do not intend to permit to the extent that it is in my control. And no official of my Administration, whether his rank is high or low, civilian or military, should interpret my words here tonight as an excuse to censor the news, to stifle dissent, to cover up our mistakes or to withhold from the press and the public the facts they deserve to know."

"For we are opposed around the world by a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy that relies on covert means for expanding its sphere of influence--on infiltration instead of invasion, on subversion instead of elections, on intimidation instead of free choice, on guerrillas by night instead of armies by day. It is a system which has conscripted vast human and material resources into the building of a tightly knit, highly efficient machine that combines military, diplomatic, intelligence, economic, scientific and political operations.

Its preparations are concealed, not published. Its mistakes are buried not headlined. Its dissenters are silenced, not praised. No expenditure is questioned, no rumor is printed, no secret is revealed."

"No President should fear public scrutinity of his program. For from that scrutiny comes understanding; and from that understanding comes support or opposition. And both are necessary. I am not asking your newspapers to support the Administration, but I am asking your help in the tremendous task of informing and alerting the American people. For I have complete confidence in the response and dedication of our citizens whenever they are fully informed.

I not only could not stifle controversy among your readers-- I welcome it. This Administration intends to be candid about its errors; for as a wise man once said: "An error does not become a mistake until you refuse to correct it." We intend to accept full responsibility for our errors; and we expect you to point them out when we miss them.

Without debate, without criticism, no Administration and no country can succeed-- and no republic can survive. That is why the Athenian lawmaker Solon decreed it a crime for any citizen to shrink from controversy. And that is why our press was protected by the First (emphasized) Amendment-- the only business in America specifically protected by the Constitution-- not primarily to amuse and entertain, not to emphasize the trivial and sentimental, not to simply "give the public what it wants"--but to inform, to arouse, to reflect, to state our dangers and our opportunities, to indicate our crises and our choices, to lead, mold educate and sometimes even anger public opinion.

This means greater coverage and analysis of international news-- for it is no longer far away and foreign but close at hand and local. It means greater attention to improved understanding of the news as well as improved transmission. And it means, finally, that government at all levels, must meet its obligation to provide you with the fullest possible information outside the narrowest limits of national security...

"And so it is to the printing press--to the recorder of mans deeds, the keeper of his conscience, the courier of his news-- that we look for strength and assistance, confident that with your help man will be what he was born to be: free and independent."

-- John F. Kennedy, 1961

The FEUture

This is how fucking stupid:

1. The European parliament is
2. The European parliament believes its citizens are

Call Center: "Hello, this is XYZ from I'm Not Going to Take Responsibility for What I am About to Tell You, Inc.  How can I help you today?"

Customer: "Yes, I tried posting a meme today to your Open Freedom Access For All - Titanium Platinum Level Member - you know the €1,995/year Concierge tier"

Call Center: "Yes. How can I help you?"

Customer: "Well for some reason my meme was never posted and made public"

Call Center: "Are you familiar with EU Article #13?"

Customer: "Yes I am"

Call Center: "Then I shouldn't have to explain to you that your meme was blocked by our copyright filters as mandated by EU Article #13"

Customer: "But my meme is my own original work of art"

Call Center: "Impossible. Our copyright filters are perfect and can detect even the slightest copyright violation in an otherwise original work"

Customer: "What in the hell did I violate?"

Call Center: "Can you hold on for just a couple minutes while I look into this further?"

Customer: "Yes of course"

Two Minutes Later...

Call Center: "Still there?"

Customer: "Yes"

Call Center: "Ok. Unfortunately our records indicate you violated a copyright of a photo of one of Jean De Paris' paintings"

Customer: "How is that even possible?"

Call Center: "A private global equity hedge fund bought a photo of the painting, copyrighted it, and then the EU fined our I Don't Give a Shit, Inc €1.5 billion in a prior copyright violation case"

Customer: ...

Call Center: "Are you still there?"

Customer: "Which Jean De Paris painting did I violate?"

Call Center: "Anne of Brittany"

Customer: "You mean this one?"

Call Center: "Yes that's the one"

Customer: "Then tell me how the fuck I violated that copyright with this"

This is How We Do Business in New Jersey

Want to be a customer of a New Jersey-based business on the Internet?

TL;DR

Call Alan from JetCameras.com directly at 732-444-3743 and ask for the "Jersey Special".

Make sure to block his number and report as spam when finished.

Sunday, January 20th 2019

1. Placed an order in the amount of $718.00 on JetCameras.com



Canon EOS M50 with EF-M15-45mm Lens



Canon EF-M 55-200mm Lens

2. Had a conversation with Alan from JetCameras.com regarding my order



Call Log with Alan from JetCameras.com

• He started the conversation by verifying my order
• Then he tried selling me a "5-hour battery with charger and lens filters" for a total of $889 (an additional $170 for items I neither ordered nor wanted)
• After I declined his upsell, he rambled on and slipped in that the camera did not come with a battery or battery charger. His website clearly states the camera kit is NEW:
• Me: "I thought the camera came with a battery"
• Alan: "Not at this price point"
• Alan tried one more time with his upsell. I declined him again:
• Me: "Just send me what I ordered"
• Alan: "Ok. We have a 10 day return policy and will charge a 15% restocking fee if returned"

Thursday, January 24th 2019

• Received package from JetCameras.com
• Never received an email with tracking information like I was told
• Package did not come with Signature Confirmation like I was told
• UPS left package without requesting my signature
• Open package and two boxes inside. So far, so good



Contents of package from JetCameras.com

• Canon EOS M50 box is opened with no factory seal. Clearly not new as item description states on JetCameras.com website. Closer inspection of Canon box reveals it isn't even the correct box for the item I purchased



Wrong Canon EOS M50 box

• I ordered Canon part #2680C011 and the box is for Canon part #2680C032. Could not find any information about this part # from Canon.com



No Google search results for Canon part #2680C032

• Inside this box for the wrong Canon part #, I found the following items
• Canon EOS M50 camera body
• Battery and battery charger (which Alan stated "Did not come at this price point")
• Plug for the battery charger
• User manual
• Camera strap
• Missing from box number one
• Canon EF-M15-45mm Lens



Contents of box number one

• This is the JetCameras.com SKU found on box number two



Box number two SKU

• Inside box number two is the missing Canon EF-M15-45mm Lens from box number one



Missing Canon EF-M15-45mm Lens from box number one

• Missing from the entire package
• Canon EF-M55-200mm Lens

Summary of Fraud

SKUs from order confirmation email and package invoice don't match

The summary of fraud committed by Alan from JetCameras.com is as follows:

1. Upsold unwanted items during order verification phone call
2. Did not provide an email with a tracking number for the order shipment
3. Did not send package with Signature Confirmation as indicated
4. Sent an open box (and wrong box) with missing items instead of the product ordered in new condition as indicated from the JetCameras.com website
5. Failed to send the second ordered product at all
6. Is expecting a return of all items at my expense and thinks he will be able to charge me a 15% restocking fee for his clusterfuck

Dow Jones Stock Market Forecast - Tuesday December 18th, 2018

Dow Jones Stock Market Forecast

Dow Jones Performance - Monday December 17th, 2018

Tuesday December 18th, 2018

Tomorrow will be a good day for day trading. Buy on the insiders closing their short positions and then sell when they begin to reload their short positions for another takedown later in the week. Or next week (oh no, not Christmas!).

Ignore The Up/Down Value

It doesn't matter that the Dow Jones lost another 507 points today. In relative terms, this is just a 2% decline in the Big Board index.

Percentage moves are all that matter. In any given trading day. Trading week. Trading month. Trading year.

Where Is That Bear?

Anyone telling you the market has turned from bull to bear is literally giving you bullshit.

A bear market does not even begin until it has dropped a minimum of 20%.

The Dow Jones hit its all-time high October 3rd, 2018 at 26,828.39. In the 50 trading days that have followed, it is now 12% off that all-time high.

Some would argue a bear market would be official when the Dow Jones closes at or below 21,462.71. They would be wrong.

Move That Average!

The medium and long-term moving average indicators used by the big boys on Wall Street are the 50-day, 100-day, and 200-day moving averages.

As you can see, today's market close was right on the 100-day moving average. Normally, the NYSE specialists and Nasdaq market makers will take the market back above the 50-day moving average. Which is just over 25,000 at the moment.

But this isn't about their moves this week. It is in the next several weeks that will be of interest. The 200-day moving average currently sits at 20,674.49. The market must close below the 200-day moving average in order to be in a bear market.

Which is awfully close to 20,000. And the Wall Street insiders will do whatever it takes to make sure the Dow Jones stays above it.

It's a psychological thing.

How Many Prime Devils Does it Take to Control Wall Street?

"Stocks can make moves that seem to defy logic and explanation"

A Demonstration of Strength by Wall Street Prime Devils - December 10th, 2018

The Man Who Sold the World

Oh no, not me
We never lost control
You're face to face
With the man who sold the world

America declared it's independence from Great Britain July 4, 1776.

The New York Stock Exchange was created on May 17, 1792.

While Southern Devils were trading black slaves between America and Africa as well as each other, it took the Northern Devils less than sixteen years after the birth of our nation to bring their version of slavery to America.

The Thirteenth Amendment

Read excerpts from The Collective Works of Abraham Lincoln

On December 6, 1865, the 13th amendment abolished slavery in the United States.

The Southern Devils had to give up their version of slavery. For the time being.

The Northern Devils kept their version.

Financial Instruments of Bondage

Trading shares of stock simply introduces just one level of indirection to the concept of slavery. Instead of buying and selling slaves directly, buy and sell shares in the companies the slaves work for.

If you work for a publicly traded company, you are a slave.

If you own shares of stocks either directly or indirectly (IRA, 401k, mutual funds, SPDRs, ETFs, Options, Derivatives, etc, etc, etc) you are a slave owner.

If you work for a publicly traded company and own shares of stocks then you are simultaneously both a slave and slave owner.

This concept is nothing new.

The ancient civilization of Babylon ( 2300 B.C. ) had the exact same concept. There were slave owners. There were slaves. And slaves were permitted to own other slaves.

Hmm, how about that?

If you don't believe me, read the damn book yourself:

The Richest Man in Babylon

Abolish It Now! (Good Luck with That)

If you have any financial transactions with any publicly traded company whatsoever, you are supporting modern-day slavery.

If you are an advertising / marketing / social media company that works with publicly traded companies, you are promoting slavery.

If you are on the investments side of the financial sector (NYSE specialist, Nasdaq market maker, stock broker, investment banker, mutual fund manager, private portfolio manager, etc, etc) then you are the instruments of slavery.

And you thought slavery ended 153 years ago and was limited in scope to just African-Americans brought over on slave ships during the colonization of America.

Friends of Bill Clinton

How many of YOUR friends, acquaintances, co-workers, employees, associates, etc would have to die in non-natural ways before YOU would become a suspect?

How Would You Like to be Bill Clinton’s Friend?

The following is a list of dead people connected with Bill Clinton:

James Mcdougal - Clinton’s convicted Whitewater partner died of an apparent heart attack, while in solitary confinement. He was a key witness in Ken Starr’s investigation.

Mary Mahoney - A former White House intern was murdered July 1997 at a Starbucks Coffee shop in Georgetown. The murder happened just after she was to go public with her story of sexual harassment in the White House.

Vince Foster - Former White House counselor, and colleague of Hillary Clinton at Little Rock’s Rose Law Firm. Died of a gunshot wound to the head, ruled a suicide.

Ron Brown - Secretary of Commerce and former DNC Chairman. Reported to have died by impact in a plane crash. A pathologist close to the investigation reported that there was a hole in the top of Brown’s skull resembling a gunshot wound. At the time of his death, Brown was being investigated, and spoke publicly of his willingness to cut a deal with prosecutors.

C. Victor Raiser II & Montgomery Raiser - Major players in the Clinton fundraising organization died in a private plane crash in July 1992.

Paul Tulley - Democratic National Committee Political Director found dead in a hotel room in Little Rock, September 1992. Described by Clinton as a “Dear friend and trusted advisor”.

Ed Willey - Clinton fundraiser, found dead November 1993 deep in the woods of Virginia of a gunshot wound to the head. Ruled a suicide. Ed Willey died on the same day his wife Kathleen Willey claimed Bill Clinton groped her in the Oval Office of the White House. Ed Willey was involved in several Clinton fund raising events.

Jerry Parks - Head of Clinton’s gubernatorial security team in Little Rock. Gunned down in his car at a deserted intersection outside Little Rock. Park’s son said his father was building a dossier on Clinton. He allegedly threatened to reveal this information. After he died the files were mysteriously removed from his house.

James Bunch - Died from a gunshot suicide. It was reported that he had a “Black Book” of people containing names of influential people who visited prostitutes in Texas and Arkansas.

James Wilson - Was found dead in May 1993 from an apparent hanging suicide. He was reported to have ties to Whitewater.

Kathy Ferguson - Ex-wife of Arkansas Trooper Danny Ferguson died in May 1994 was found dead in her living room with a gunshot to her head. It was ruled a suicide even though there were several packed suitcases, as if she was going somewhere. Danny Ferguson was a co-defendant along with Bill Clinton in the Paula Jones lawsuit. Kathy Ferguson was a possible corroborating witness for Paula Jones.

Bill Shelton - Arkansas State Trooper and fiancee of Kathy Ferguson. Critical of the suicide ruling of his fiancee, he was found dead in June 1994 of a gunshot wound also ruled a suicide at the gravesite of his fiancee.

Gandy Baugh - Attorney for Clinton's friend Dan Lassater died by jumping out a window of a till building January 1994. His client was a convicted drug distributor.

Florence Martin - Accountant sub-contractor for the CIA related to the Barry Seal Mena Airport drug smuggling case. Died of three gunshot wounds.

Suzanne Coleman - Reportedly had an affair with Clinton when he was Arkansas Attorney General. Died of a gunshot wound to the back of the head, ruled a suicide. Was pregnant at the time of her death.

Paula Grober - Clinton’s speech interpreter for the deaf from 1978 until her death December 9, 1992. She died in a one car accident.

Danny Casolaro - Investigative reporter. Investigating Mena Airport and Arkansas Development Finance Authority. He slit his wrists, apparent suicide in the middle of his investigation.

Paul Wilcher - Attorney investigating corruption at Mena Airport with Casolaro and the 1980 “October Surprise” was found dead on a toilet June 22, 1993 in his Washington DC apartment. Had delivered a report to Janet Reno three weeks before his death.

Jon Parnell Walker - Whitewater investigator for Resolution Trust Corp. Jumped to his death from his Arlington, VA apartment balcony August 15, 1993. Was investigating Morgan Guarantee scandal.

Barbara Wise - Commerce Department staffer. Worked closely with Ron Brown and John Huang. Cause of death unknown. Died November 29, 1996. Her bruised nude body was found locked in her office at the Department of Commerce.

Charles Meissner - Assistant Secretary of Commerce who gave John Huang special security clearance, died shortly thereafter in a small plane crash.

Dr. Stanley Heard - Chairman of the National Chiropractic Health Care Advisory Committee died with his attorney Steve Dickson in a small plane crash. Dr. Heard, in addition to serving on Clinton’s advisory council, personally treated Clinton’s mother, stepfather, and brother.

Barry Seal - Drug running pilot out of Mena Arkansas, death was no accident.

Johnny Lawhorn Jr. - Mechanic, found a check made out to Clinton in the trunk of a car left in his repair shop. Died when his car hit a utility pole.

Stanley Huggins - Suicide. Investigated Madison Guarantee. His report was never released.

Hershell Friday - Attorney and Clinton fundraiser died March 1, 1994 when his plane exploded.

Kevin Ives & Don Henry - Known as “The boys on the track” case. Reports say the boys may have stumbled upon the Mena Arkansas airport drug operation. Controversial case where initial report of death was due to falling asleep on railroad track. Later reports claim the two boys had been slain before being placed on the tracks. Many linked to the case died before their testimony could come before a Grand Jury.

The Following Six People Had Information on the Ives/Henry Case

Keith Mcmaskle - Died stabbed 113 times, November 1988.

Gregory Collins - Died from a gunshot wound January 1989.

Jeff Rhodes - He was shot, mutilated and found burned in a trash dump in April 1989.

James Milan - Found decapitated. Coroner ruled death due to natural causes.

Jordan Kettleson - Was found shot to death in the front seat of his pickup truck in June 1990.

Richard Winters - Was a suspect in the Ives/Henry deaths. Was killed in a setup robbery July 1989.

The Following Clinton Bodyguards are Dead

Major William S. Barkley Jr.
Captain Scott J. Reynolds
Sgt. Brian Hanley
Sgt. Tim Sabel
Major General William Robertson
Col. William Densberger
Col. Robert Kelly
Spec. Gary Rhodes
Steve Willis
Robert Williams
Conway Lebleu
Todd Mckeehan

Throw The Fucking Flag! (Part 2)

Must. Control. Game.

Before Roger Goodell and friends adjust their strategy in which penalties to call on the (ahem) visiting team, here is a list of subjective penalties to watch out for during this week's activities and the weeks to follow.

Including the playoffs.

And Super Bowl.

• Blocking Below the Waist
• Illegal Block in the Back
• Chop Block
• Clipping
• Holding
• Horse-collar tackle (some announcer said they were going to "expand" this foul)
• Illegal Batting
• Illegal Contact
• Illegal Formation
• Illegal Forward Pass
• Illegal Hands to the Face
• Illegal Kick
• Illegal Shift
• Substitution Infraction
• Illegal Touching of a Forward Pass
• Illegal Touching of a Free Kick
• Illegal Touching of a Scrimmage Kick
• Illegal Use of Hands
• Ineligible Receiver Downfield
• Intentional Grounding
• Leaping
• Leverage
• Neutral Zone Infraction
• Offside Pass
• Pass Interference
• Personal Foul
• Rough Play
• Roughing the Passer
• Roughing the Kicker
• Roughing the Snapper
• Running into the Kicker
• Sideline Infraction
• Spearing
• Targeting
• Tripping
• Unfair Act
• Unsportsmanlike Conduct

Don't Want Us to Throw a Flag? Fine. We Won't

Just look at a replay of the Sunday night football game on December 2nd, 2018 between the Los Angeles Chargers and Pittsburgh Steelers to understand exactly what I am talking about.

Not calling penalties on completely fucking obvious shit like false starts that result in touchdowns is just as bad as calling bogus penalties on ANY PLAY THAT ACTUALLY GAINS FUCKING YARDS BY THE OFFENSE OF THE VISITING TEAM!

Or.

ANY PLAY THAT ACTUALLY IS A GOOD/GREAT DEFENSIVE PLAY BY THE VISITING TEAM!

Throw Shit on the Home Team Then!

"Throw shit on the home team then!" - Roger Goodell

Throw Shit on the Team Favored By Vegas!

"Throw shit on the team favored by Vegas!" - Roger Goodell

Throw Shit on the Underdog!

"Throw shit on the underdog in Vegas!" - Roger Goodell

Fuck! Throw Shit on Everybody!

"Fuck! Throw shit on everybody!" - Roger Goodell

Did I Make My Point, Bruh?

You can see why Roger Goodell makes $40 million per year.

Let Them Play OL

The National Flag League

The NFL is no longer the National Football League. They are the National Flag League.

Their favorite weapons of choice?

1. Holding
2. Illegal Block in the Back

Did You Ever Play Football, Bruh?

I don't know if any of the refs in the NFL have ever played football. At any level.

Peewee.

Middle School.

High School.

College.

Pro.

But I can promise you one thing. NONE of them have ever played on the offensive line in the NFL before.

Or college.

Throw The Fucking Flag!

"Throw the fucking flag!" - Roger Goodell

Have you ever played in the NFL before, Roger?

Hmm?

How about on the OL?

What is holding?

Honestly I have no fucking idea. I can't remember the last time the television replay actually showed somebody "holding" anyone when the penalty was called.

1. An OL is supposedly able to not only put their hands in between the shoulder pads of a defensive lineman, but they are actually ALLOWED TO FUCKING HOLD onto the jersey in this particular scenario

In last Thursday night's football game between the Tennessee Titans and the Jacksonville Jaguars, I saw two holding penalties called personally by the HEAD REFEREE that replay showed:

1. The Jacksonville OL was BLOCKING the DL from the SIDE. Is it really illegal to block someone from the side? WTF is that? Seriously?
2. I believe another Jacksonville OL was HOLDING onto the DL just like I describe above. And when the ball carrier ran in that direction of said OL/DL, the OL LET GO OF THE DL LIKE HE IS FUCKING SUPPOSED TO. And the HEAD REFEREE CALLED HOLDING AGAIN! A FUCKING LEGAL PLAY THAT IS FUCKING BEING FLAGGED FOR FUCKING TEN YARDS!

It is shit like this that decides NFL football games.

Let Them Play OL

If Roger Goodell really believes MORE holding penalties need to be called in NFL games, and the refs are more than willing to oblige, then let them all strap on the fucking gear:

And have them go up against these motherfuckers:

Then you can tell me, and the rest of the fucking world, what is and is not a holding penalty.

Bend it like Beckham

Gravitational Perturbations

In the summer of 1996, I was in the library one day to conduct research for an English paper. I didn't want to do research for an English paper, though. Not my cup of tea.

So I went over to the science section and found an astronomy magazine. As I was flipping through the magazine, I stopped and read a theory that was published in big, bold white letters stating something to the effect of:

"Gravitational perturbations between the Sun and another star could dislodge a rock floating in the Oort cloud and send it hurtling towards Earth".

If you actually know anything about me, I abhor virtually every theory astrophysicists come up with because they are mind-numbing and have zero basis in reality (sound familiar?). This theory was no different to me because:

1. The theory said it could dislodge "A" rock. Not several rocks. Not a bunch of rocks. How in the hell can one rock out of the effectively infinite number of rocks surrounding the solar system get dislodged and the others not?


2. Ok, let's say "A" rock can get dislodged and head towards the inner solar system. The chances of it actually hitting the Earth are less than zero. That is like saying you can hit Neptune with a BB gun

That is when God stopped me, paused several seconds, and simply said:

"Because they have done it to me before"

How?

That was my question to him. How?

He told me to close my eyes. And then he sketched into my brain exactly how they do it:

Call in the Airstrike

The Godfather radios to the Alpha Centauri Brothers and says, "I want you to help me move this asteroid at these coordinates along this path, synchronized on my mark".

Then they work together synchronously. The Godfather increases his gravitational pull on the target object while simultaneously the Alpha Centauri Brothers decrease their gravitational pull on the target object.

They context switch back and forth, alternating between increasing and decreasing their gravitational pull, in perfect synchronization. As the asteroid picks up speed they context switch faster and faster. Think of it as a steam locomotive accelerating from a standstill.

Finally, when The Godfather has it on the trajectory he wants, he puts the hammer down and lets the Alpha Centauri Brothers perform hyper-context switching to keep the target object in a stabilized path.

So, Uh, The Godfather Needs the Alpha Centauri Brothers to Do This?

I assume that question is rhetorical. The answer is obviously "No".

When The Godfather needs to "make an adjustment", this is what they do for fun to fuck God up. You have to understand they have been floating around in space for 5,000,000,000 years and it gets pretty damn boring.

Now that you understand the stars can manipulate their gravitational pull on celestial objects, naturally then it is easy to see this is how The Godfather built Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars.

The Godfather can take any asteroid within his domain (which is way beyond the orbit of Neptune) and "Bend it like Beckham".

Give him a reason not to.

Oh Tinder how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways...

I am a divorced male, aged 41 years, with two kids, a house, and a car. I am also an introvert so I can't go to the clubs, bars, churches, grocery stores, or anywhere else and pick up women. Tinder's allure of meeting new people on the Internet was no doubt attractive in the beginning.

My expectation from Tinder is to be able to date women. I met my ex-wife when I was a freshman in high school and we were together, with few exceptions, for twenty-two years until our divorce in January 2012.

Tinder is not a dating (or relationship) app

Tinder is not in the business of selling dates or relationships. Tinder is in the business of selling likes. That's it. Tinder presents you with a picture of somebody and you have two choices: I like it (swipe right) or I don't (swipe left).

If you like somebody and they like you back, then "It's a Match!" and you're off to the dating races.

Or that is what Tinder wants you to think when you start using the app.

If you are an average person like myself, then the number of profiles you swipe right on greatly exceeds the number of matches you actually receive. My estimates would be that I have to swipe right on somewhere between 50 and 100 profiles (if not more) just to receive one match.

The Exploitation of Making Matches

Since Tinder is in the business of selling likes, the last thing Tinder wants to do is actually match people with one another. Because if Tinder matches you with someone, and the two of you go on a date, and it turns into a relationship, Tinder just lost two customers.

Tinder is free to download and if I remember correctly they make it easy to start with your Facebook account. But you are limited to making around 100 right swipes in a 24 hour period which again if you are an average male like me will net you one match if you're lucky.

Consider that by Tinder putting a limit on the number of right swipes you can make in one day that you the user has to be more selective in who you right swipe. This results in profiles you say no to that otherwise you would say yes, and therefore an impossible situation for a match to be made. The only winner here is Tinder.

Honestly I don't remember receiving very many matches at all when I was on Tinder's freebie plan so I wouldn't be surprised if Tinder de-prioritizes your freebie profile in their algorithm that decides when to show it to other Tinder users.

Enter Tinder Plus

Tinder Plus is their way of making money. And of course the business model is built entirely around likes.

Unlimited Right Swipes

Pay up for Tinder Plus and you the user can right swipe as many people as you want. How convenient.

Rewind

If you swipe too fast and realize you swiped the last person incorrectly, you can go back and fix it. This is actually a good feature because you can correct both swipe left and swipe right mistakes.

5 Super Likes a Day

For that "special" someone, you can send them a Super Like. But because Tinder limits the number of "free" Super Likes a day to just five, you fall into the exact same pit of hell as a freebie profile in that you have to be more selective in who you Super Like. Otherwise Tinder will gladly charge you a dollar for each Super Like you want to give out to those special ladies. It's just like being at a strip club except Tinder is the one taking the dollars from you and not the stripper.

Tinder Boost

Skip the line! Be the top profile in your area for 30 minutes to get more matches! You get one of these "free" per week. The only thing I have to say about this feature is what line? Is Tinder the bouncer holding me up from getting into the club?

Passport

Tinder Plus gives you the ability to change the location in which you are swiping. So if you are going to Paris for vacation you can swipe in Paris and see all those beautiful singles just waiting for you to touch down at Charles de Gaulle airport!

No Ads

Every freemium app has ads in its freebie mode and Tinder is no exception.

My Tinder Plus Settings

I find it hilarious that in the My Tinder Plus app settings you can actually turn off all of the above features that you are supposed to get by being a paying Tinder subscriber. Why provide an actual service to your users when you can take their money and give them nothing at all in return?

Prepare for Tinder Gold

So the only innovation Tinder can come up with that will be an ultra-premium feature (you have to pay for Tinder Plus in order to have the privilege to pay for Tinder Gold) is the ability to see exactly who liked your profile without having to like them back and make a match. Guess what this feature is good for? That's right, not making matches. Again, the only winner here is Tinder.

Using Tinder on the Front Line

As a middle-aged divorcee who has used Tinder all around the world, the following is a synopsis of my experiences:

Tinder is one of the worst software applications I have ever used

If you actually set out to intentionally develop the worst piece of software humanly conceivable, you still couldn't make it as bad as Tinder. Consider the following:

Notifications on Android flat out don't work

When I have a new match or a new message, I require a proper notification from Tinder with sound so that I know I have something from Tinder to attend to without having to look at my phone. Tinder used to do this but not reliably and now I don't think Tinder does what it is supposed to do at all.

Because the app is completely unreliable and unstable with respect to notifications, I think the Tinder developers use a random number generator to decide how to handle notifications on your Android phone and they choose from one of the following options:

• Show a notification on the home screen but vibrate the phone instead of playing a sound
• Show a notification on the home screen but don't vibrate the phone or play a sound
• Don't show a notification on the home screen at all, don't vibrate the phone, and don't play a sound

The last option means that I have to open the Tinder app on my phone just to see if I have any new matches or messages. Again, you cannot develop a software application this insane by accident and it plays right into Tinder's hands. If the user is never properly notified of new matches or messages, Tinder is completely useless. And if you cannot ever go on a date or start a relationship, winner: Tinder

Limiting Super Likes Proves Tinder is not a Dating App

This pit of hell has all kinds of problems. When traveling, I can promise you I want to Super Like more than five women in a 24 hour period. And no I'm not paying Tinder a dollar just so I can Super Like someone. If I'm going to do that, I'll take my money to the strip club and get boobs in my face and asses in my lap.

The crux of the issue here is that Tinder has no idea who I really like. Obviously they don't care because it doesn't generate revenue for them, but if they were in fact a dating app this is the kind of thing they exactly would care about. By putting a paywall in front of Super Likes, it generates invalid data on Tinder's servers about who likes whom and who really likes whom. And since Tinder doesn't actually want you to match or date or relate in any way shape or form, they don't give a fuck.

Of course the only argument Tinder can come up with for having Super Likes behind a paywall is to keep users from abusing them. The reasoning is if I could give out unlimited Super Likes, then why would I ever just like anyone, right? The funny thing is that they could easily detect abusers of an Unlimited Super Like system and deal with them in an appropriate fashion that doesn't create a pit of unholy hell for the rest of us.

Tinder Keeps Showing You the Same People Over and Over and Over Again

I cannot tell you how much time I have wasted swiping the same profiles over and over again on Tinder. It is frustrating as fuck because I already swiped right or left on this person once, why the hell am I seeing their profile again?

Of course it breaks your will to live every time you swipe right again and again on someone you like and never get a match. But this "feature" of Tinder enters the realm of cruel and unusual punishment under the following scenarios:

• I match with someone I liked, they subsequently unmatched me, and yet their profile keeps coming up again and again. Pure torture.
• I match with someone I liked, I subsequently unmatched them, and yet their profile keeps coming up again and again. Pure torture.
• My ex-wife has shown up on my profile feed several times. Again pure torture. Tinder needs s Super Dislike option for this scenario but they don't give a shit. And even if they did have a Super Dislike option their backend algorithms would ignore it anyway because they don't give a shit.

People Who Unmatch You Keep Showing Up in your List of Matches

This is a "feature" I have recently observed in the Tinder app where someone unmatches you and yet their profile and any conversation you might have had with them keep randomly showing up in your List of Matches like zombies. It's just like an episode of The Walking Dead except the zombies goes away only when Tinder decides for them to go away.

The Overwhelming Majority of Matches Average Men Interact With Are Bots/Spammers/Phishers/Scammers

I have lost count of how many times I have matched with someone on Tinder only for it to turn out to either be a scripted bot, a scammer, a phisher, or spammer (the number is far greater than real people I have had conversations with). The formula is simple: steal profile photos from hot Tinder women, build a fake profile, and then scam away.

These fake Tinder profiles are all over the world and Tinder doesn't give a shit. Actually I'm sure the fakes are a great source of revenue for Tinder because at the end of the day it is a relatively cheap marketing tool for the fakes to pay for a Tinder Plus account and a couple of successful scams covers the costs of doing their shady business.

Oh and remember, no dates and no relationships means Tinder is the winner.

Men Will Show Up in your Profile Feed

From time to time, Tinder likes to show you other men in your profile feed that is supposed to be exclusively women. And I think just about every time the man has been better looking than me. Tinder wouldn't do this on purpose to tell average males, "See who is getting all the matches instead of you?", would they?

Passport Feature is a Complete Waste of Time and Effort (for the average male)

If you look like Channing Tatum, then I'm sure Passport is a fantastic feature and you have a dozen beautiful ladies waiting for you at the airport when you arrive. But for the average male this feature is completely useless.

Why you ask? Because if you don't look like Channing Tatum, women are only interested in relationships. Why are they only interested in relationships? Because a woman can get a date anywhere, any time, from just about anybody. Women are not interested in just having dates (unless you look like Channing Tatum):

Whenever I match with someone on Tinder while traveling, the conversation always leads to me being a visitor in their town. The majority of the time that is the end of the conversation. Women want a relationship from a man on Tinder (unless you look like Channing Tatum) and they want that relationship to be local.

Again, no dates and no relationships means Tinder is the only winner here.

Tinder Has a Transvestite Infestation

This is not a political rant by any means as I completely support LGBT equality. However, I am completely opposed to transvestites, bisexual men, and cross-dressers showing up in my Tinder feed. I am a straight man who is only interested sexually in women.

Tinder needs to enable LGBT people to identify themselves properly in their profile configuration and then allow other users to specify in their profile configuration if they are even interested in seeing LGBT profiles in their feeds. If that is something you are into by all means go for it. However I don't want any part of it personally when I am trying to use Tinder as a means of finding a date.

Actually, this Tinder problem can be generally applied to other profiles than just LGBT such as people in an open relationship looking for a side piece/third wheel or people that already have a boyfriend/girlfriend and are just looking for friends. For me personally, I am looking for a one-on-one date with a born and bred woman. That's it.

Tinder Doesn't Like it When You Are Picky With Your Likes

Because the only purpose Tinder serves in life is for people to like each other, Tinder looks down upon those who take a selective view of the people in their profile feed. I have noticed that if I dislike many people then Tinder's algorithm will do the following:

• Show me almost exclusively people I don't like
• Show me the "There is no one new around you" message more often

But if I like more people, then Tinder shows me all kinds of profiles that I like. And things get even better once you run out of your five free Super Likes for the day as Tinder loves to show you more women they know you would love to Super Like. So Tinder does keep track of Super Likes at some level, but only enough to fuck with your brain and promptly separate you from your money.

Tinder Boost is a Shady Feature

Honestly I have no idea how Tinder Boost works. But what I can tell you is that I don't get any more matches from doing a Boost than not doing one. In addition to not knowing what the hell it does, Tinder only gives Tinder Plus users one free Boost per week, and if you want more than that you have to pay up. Oh, and for some reason they limit the effectiveness of the Boost to 10x your normal profile display rate, whatever the hell that means. The only thing I understand from all this is less matches, less dates, less relationships, more money for Tinder.

Having Paywalls for Tinder Plus Subscribers is Disingenuous

I completely understand why Tinder wants to gamify certain things like Super Likes and Boosts for revenue generation from freebie accounts. But for someone who pays Tinder good money on a subscription basis, it better be all-inclusive. And it's not. Tinder Plus users still get the run-around on having to pay for Super Likes and Boosts.

Tinder App Usability is Complete Shit

Here is a list of usability problems you will encounter while using the Tinder app on Android:

• Tinder does not take into consideration slow or low-bandwidth users in their application architecture. If you try to use Tinder in one of these scenarios you will feel nothing but physical and mental pain.
• Because I have to manage my Super Likes, sometimes I have to go to the Settings panel and see how many I have left. When I return to the profile feed, the person I wanted to Super Like has magically disappeared and I never see them again!!!!!
• When I am actually perusing someone's Tinder profile and I need to use the buttons along the bottom to like or dislike the person:
• No! You meant to Recommend this Person to your Friends!
• How about viewing one of their Instagram photos instead?
• Or even better, Report This User!!!!!!
• Trying to Swipe Left on somebody? No! Instead you meant to switch the view to see your existing List of Matches!!! (Tinder's way of telling you to swipe right instead of left as if they know what's best for you)
• Open the app and it cannot reach the Tinder servers for some reason? I know, let's log you out of the Tinder app entirely!!! Now you have to go hunting for your Facebook credentials to login again, and yet you cannot re-login because you cannot reach the Tinder servers!!!! Brilliant!!!!
• Traveling in a foreign country? Need to copy the text from a Tinder profile you are interested in so you can run it through Google Translate? Nope!!!! Denied!!!! You shall not pass!!!! Copying the text of Tinder profiles is forbidden!!!!!
• Too often Tinder barfs on something when you are trying to use it to find a date and you get the following error message:

And Oh All Those Great Matches That You Can Never Forget

Some of the greatest hits include:

• Bots
• Fake profiles
• Russians who will call or email you if you just give them your phone number and/or email address
• Bots
• Women who ask men rhetorical questions such as, "So what are you looking for on Tinder?" (A: a God damn date)
• Women who match with you and then never talk with you
• Women who match and then give you excuses on why they cannot meet you in person (coincidentally I am babysitting the entire 30 hours you will be in Copenhagen!)
• Bots
• Cam models that want you to join their live cam feed so you two can finalize the details of a date that will never actually happen
• Transvestites looking for a date from straight men
• Bisexual men looking for a date from straight men
• Fake profiles
• Cross-dressers looking for a date from straight men
• Bots
• Women who are only interested in meeting "The One"
• Women who are not interested in one-night stands, hookups, or friends with benefits (unless you look like Channing Tatum)
• Women who are only out to hustle men for money on Tinder
• Women who want nothing to do with travelers (unless you look like Channing Tatum)
• Bots
• Catfish who look absolutely nothing like their profile pictures in person

In Requiem

At the end of the day, Tinder got me two (count it again...two) dates that actually went well enough for me to a) want to see the person again, and b) have a short-lived relationship with one of those people.

All the hours upon hours spent swiping left, swiping right, managing who gets Super Liked and who doesn't, when to Boost, strategizing when to use Passport while traveling, toying with the max distance and age range settings, not to mention paying Tinder good money to be a Tinder Plus user for over a year, was all for nothing. I am just as single and just as alone as I was before I ever decided to use Tinder.

So your mileage of course will vary from mine. But if you ever find yourself in a similar situation as mine, it is best to do the following:

1. Unmatch Every Single Person

I have 50 matches that I never started conversations with and 56 matches where the conversations went nowhere. Unmatching them all one-by-one was painful but cathartic at the same time. No sense holding onto possibilities that have no future whatsoever.

2. Delete Your Tinder Account

It is not enough just to uninstall Tinder from your phone. You actually have to delete your account manually from within the Tinder app:

• Go to Settings Pane --> Select Settings Gear Icon --> Scroll all the way to the bottom
• Press the Delete Account button at the very bottom
• Tinder doesn't want you to delete your account, so it will ask you if you want to "Pause My Account" instead. Tell Tinder to go fuck themselves and press "Delete My Account"
• Then Tinder will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete your account?" The options I have to choose from are:
• I need a break from Tinder
• I want a fresh start
• I met someone
• Something is broken
• I don't like Tinder (obviously this was my choice)
• Other
• Then Tinder will ask you for feedback. Leave whatever feedback is appropriate for your situation and then press "Submit Feedback & Delete"
• Note this screen is obviously intentionally buggy as the choices I initially checked became unchecked and other options I didn't check suddenly became checked without me doing a single thing. Clearly Tinder sincerely values your feedback as a disgruntled user.
• Then Tinder gives you an overlay window saying "Thanks for the feedback. Are you sure you want to delete your account?" There are warnings about losing all of your data permanently, etc. Press "Delete My Account" again
• Finally, you should get a confirmation message saying "Account Deleted" and you will be logged out of the Tinder app

3. Uninstall Tinder from your phone

The best way to do this is from the Google Play Store:

• Open Google Play
• Press the hamburger in the search bar
• Select My apps & games
• Select the Installed tab
• Scroll down until you find Tinder
• Touch the app to select it
• Press the Uninstall button
• If you are a Tinder Plus subscriber, you will get a message that says "Your active subscriptions will not be cancelled. Do you still want to uninstall?" Select Yes

4. Cancel your Tinder Plus subscription

If you subscribed to Tinder Plus, then deleting your Tinder account and uninstalling Tinder from your phone does not cancel your subscription. If you don't do this step, yes you will still be giving Tinder your hard-earned money:

• Open Google Play
• Press the hamburger in the search bar
• Select Account
• Select Subscriptions
• Find the Tinder subscription and press Cancel
• I got a popup saying, "Cancel subscription? Your subscription will remain active until Dec 20, 2017". Press Cancel Subscription

You should get a small bubble message that says "Subscription cancelled". The Tinder subscription now says it expires on Dec 19, 2017 for me.

Tell Tinder to go fuck themselves and find productive hobbies to do in your lonely, old age. You might even meet somebody worth spending time with this way.