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Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day...
Showing posts with label European Union. Show all posts
Showing posts with label European Union. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

The FEUture

This is how fucking stupid:
  1. The European parliament is
  2. The European parliament believes its citizens are
Call Center: "Hello, this is XYZ from I'm Not Going to Take Responsibility for What I am About to Tell You, Inc.  How can I help you today?"

Customer: "Yes, I tried posting a meme today to your Open Freedom Access For All - Titanium Platinum Level Member - you know the €1,995/year Concierge tier"

Call Center: "Yes. How can I help you?"

Customer: "Well for some reason my meme was never posted and made public"

Call Center: "Are you familiar with EU Article #13?"

Customer: "Yes I am"

Call Center: "Then I shouldn't have to explain to you that your meme was blocked by our copyright filters as mandated by EU Article #13"

Customer: "But my meme is my own original work of art"

Call Center: "Impossible. Our copyright filters are perfect and can detect even the slightest copyright violation in an otherwise original work"

Customer: "What in the hell did I violate?"

Call Center: "Can you hold on for just a couple minutes while I look into this further?"

Customer: "Yes of course"

Two Minutes Later...


Call Center: "Still there?"

Customer: "Yes"

Call Center: "Ok. Unfortunately our records indicate you violated a copyright of a photo of one of Jean De Paris' paintings"

Customer: "How is that even possible?"

Call Center: "A private global equity hedge fund bought a photo of the painting, copyrighted it, and then the EU fined our I Don't Give a Shit, Inc €1.5 billion in a prior copyright violation case"

Customer: ...

Call Center: "Are you still there?"

Customer: "Which Jean De Paris painting did I violate?"

Call Center: "Anne of Brittany"

Customer: "You mean this one?"


Call Center: "Yes that's the one"

Customer: "Then tell me how the fuck I violated that copyright with this"