Must. Control. Game.
Before Roger Goodell and friends adjust their strategy in which penalties to call on the (ahem) visiting team, here is a list of subjective penalties to watch out for during this week's activities and the weeks to follow.
Including the playoffs.
And Super Bowl.
- Blocking Below the Waist
- Illegal Block in the Back
- Chop Block
- Clipping
- Holding
- Horse-collar tackle (some announcer said they were going to "expand" this foul)
- Illegal Batting
- Illegal Contact
- Illegal Formation
- Illegal Forward Pass
- Illegal Hands to the Face
- Illegal Kick
- Illegal Shift
- Substitution Infraction
- Illegal Touching of a Forward Pass
- Illegal Touching of a Free Kick
- Illegal Touching of a Scrimmage Kick
- Illegal Use of Hands
- Ineligible Receiver Downfield
- Intentional Grounding
- Leaping
- Leverage
- Neutral Zone Infraction
- Offside Pass
- Pass Interference
- Personal Foul
- Rough Play
- Roughing the Passer
- Roughing the Kicker
- Roughing the Snapper
- Running into the Kicker
- Sideline Infraction
- Spearing
- Targeting
- Tripping
- Unfair Act
- Unsportsmanlike Conduct
Don't Want Us to Throw a Flag? Fine. We Won't
Just look at a replay of the Sunday night football game on December 2nd, 2018 between the Los Angeles Chargers and Pittsburgh Steelers to understand exactly what I am talking about.
Not calling penalties on completely fucking obvious shit like false starts that result in touchdowns is just as bad as calling bogus penalties on ANY PLAY THAT ACTUALLY GAINS FUCKING YARDS BY THE OFFENSE OF THE VISITING TEAM!
Or.
ANY PLAY THAT ACTUALLY IS A GOOD/GREAT DEFENSIVE PLAY BY THE VISITING TEAM!
Throw Shit on the Home Team Then!
"Throw shit on the home team then!" - Roger Goodell
Throw Shit on the Team Favored By Vegas!
"Throw shit on the team favored by Vegas!" - Roger Goodell
Throw Shit on the Underdog!
"Throw shit on the underdog in Vegas!" - Roger Goodell
Fuck! Throw Shit on Everybody!
"Fuck! Throw shit on everybody!" - Roger Goodell
Did I Make My Point, Bruh?
You can see why Roger Goodell makes $40 million per year.
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